Reward systems are ineffective as the individual with PDA feels out of control.  Planned rewards are perceived as a demand.  Positive experiences that flow into each other are more effective.

Humor can be very effective at diffusing situations.

Depersonalize rules: “It’s a Health and Safety Rule,” or, “It’s the law,” is better than, “Because it’s dangerous,” or, “Because I say so.”

Show empathy and talk about what helps, “I know you hate cleaning your room, I  used to hate cleaning mine, how about we to it together?”

Use challenges: “I bet you can’t………” or, “ I will race you…….”

Let Individuals plan their own routines.

Offer a choice that YOU are still in control of:  “Do you want to write your name first, or the date?” or, “Do you want to wear your brown shoes or your gym shoes?”

Praise indirectly rather than directly.

Reduce pressures, i.e., allow extra time, pick your battles.

Give demands indirectly.

Give individuals the chance to help, demonstrate what they are good at, responsibilities, etc.

Have an exit strategy or code word.