When my kids were very young, I hired a babysitter two times a month for two hours so I could have a break. Just two hours. That was it. We did not have extra money laying around, so this was not about indulgence.
It was about survival.
It was about breathing.
It was about having a moment where no one needed me.
I would get in the car, drive in silence, and stop for a coffee. A real one. Not reheated. Not half-finished. Then I opened the heavy wooden doors of my favorite store, Anthropologie. The moment I stepped inside, my whole body would soften.
The smell hit first. Anthropologie aroma had the kind of smell that made my shoulders drop without my realizing they had been up by my ears. Before I saw a single display, my nervous system already felt safer.
The lighting was low and gentle, not demanding anything from me. Vintage glass bottles hung in shaped art structures from the ceiling. Textures were everywhere—linen, feathers, silk, wood, leather, velvet. The space felt curated. Intentional. Comforting.
They greeters would smile when I walked in, the kind of smile that says, You belong here. I was welcomed with warmth and yet free to do my own thing, alone. No hovering. No pressure. No expectations. They let me sit on one of their big, beautiful leather sofas with my coffee and my journal. Twice a month. For two hours. Without buying a single thing.
I would tuck myself into the corner of that massive leather sofa, wrap my hands around my cup, open my journal, and just… be. I would write, gaze, and breathe. I would take in the music, the smell, the textures, the quiet hum of people moving around me. I let my nervous system land.
And I realize now that what I was really doing was resting inside the “emotional home” of Anthropologie.
The emotional home of Anthropologie was: You are welcome here. You’re safe. You belong. You don’t have to earn your place. You can stay.
The emotional home did not happen by accident. That was designed. Every scent, every light, texture, every interaction was intentionally curated. This taught me something profound!
I need to be intentional about the emotional home I am creating.
Every family has an emotional home, whether they have named it or not. It is the invisible structure that frames your family system. It is the emotional climate you and your children live inside. It is what they feel when they walk into the house after school. It is the feeling in the kitchen when food is being prepared, how conflict is handled, what family does on Friday nights, how repair is made, how love is expressed, and so much more.
Our children, especially our PDA children, are taking emotional home in constantly. They are reading the room, feeling the atmosphere, scanning for safety. They are noticing whether they are welcome as they are or whether they need to brace.
PDA nervous systems are constantly scanning for threat, safety, and autonomy. This is why the emotional home must be built intentionally.
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This is an excerpt from the chapter “Emotional Home” in my unpublished PDA book. This is raw and unedited. The concept of emotional home is the most profound strategy I have used for parenting a PDA kiddo. In the book and accompanying workbook, I break down for you how to create the “Emotional Home” you wish for.
In my PDA Parenting book and accompanying workbook, I walk you step-by-step through how to create your Emotional Home with intentionality.
I want to do something special.
I am opening 10 complimentary spots for parents who would like to walk through this workbook with me in real time.
These families will receive early access to the full book + workbook and we will meet regularly to talk through the real-life application, the messy parts, the stuck parts of parenting a PDA child.
This is not therapy, it is an opportunity for community connection.
If you would like to be one of the 10 families, please direct message me via contact page on neurodiverseinstitute.com.
We will begin in March.
🌀 With you in this,
Nonie Rand
Founder of the Neurodiverse Institute
Proud Platinum Sponsor of the 7th Annual PDA North America Conference
